All posts tagged: Depression

Breathe with tears ~ 🕉

These few days I have the feeling that some elements in life are not for me anymore. This feels somehow as a disappointment, but I should also see this as a new opportunity. Sometimes a door just closes, even when you don’t want to. It means a lot of things and you should look at the opportunities ahead of you. Being adopted I always tried to look at life as a second chance. Born in Indonesia but raised in the Netherlands gave me new opportunities to a better life. This was a mindset that kept me going. Even as a little girl I knew I should make the best of it and give it all I got to make this chance a successful one. So everyone will be proud and it wasn’t all for nothing. Lately I still live with this mantra but I also feel the pain more. I realize what happened, what I lost and what I will never get back. It will be lost forever and it’s a harsh reality that sometimes …

Listen to silence 💜

Listening to your body is one of the many advices you get, when you do yoga. Let’s that just be one of the things I am not used to do. Unless my body is screaming. Right? Familiar? The body isn’t, of course, literally screaming. Actually, it’s silent. It doesn’t do anything. It screams in silence. Sometimes the mind does the screaming. This week my body was screaming and no, I didn’t listen. I was not able to follow a yoga class unfortunately, but I have done it. Because I know it’s good for me, to heal, to recover, to find a way for my energy to flow through me. It’s weird that yoga can be good, when you don’t feel good. If you listen. Thanks to yoga I am better at it and adjust my yoga routines accordingly. Following classes might be better even, because of the routines that are formed properly by the instructor. So I can say I am healing. Little by little, the change is coming. That doesn’t mean my pain is …

Survive with thunder

Today I was thinking about being clean. Clean from pain, hurt, sorrows, grief. Free from feelings with negativity. Is it possible for me to reach a state like that? At this moment I doubt it. I don’t believe my traumas will ever disappear. I believe they stay, they exist, they are part of me. It’s another part of me that needs to heal to cope with these feelings properly. That’s what I believe in. That I can be healed in a way I have found a healthy lifestyle to cope with my daily depressions and anxiety’s. I am not there yet. Last few days I have felt really disappointed about myself. That I wasn’t able to perform as I wanted to. What needs to be healed is the part that can say it’s okay. There will be other and better days. Today the rain fell and dark clouds dominated your well being. But as we know, the sun will appear soon enough. So when the sun shines, you remember the rain and thunder. And you …

Wonder why

There are days I wonder about the purpose of my actions. What’s the point in being positive and happy, if so many people are in pain? Can I be happy? Am I allowed to be successful in any way? And I don’t mean successful in a material way, but in my heart. Am I allowed to feel joy, when someone else is in pain? I can’t decide. All I know is that it is not how I am. Although I can be relieved with the thought of having my blessings, it makes me sad that the pain in our world doesn’t seem to end. I don’t want to look away, I want to be aware and I don’t want to distance myself from the experiences of other people. No matter how terrible those stories are, I should feel them. To make myself aware that all of this, is not all that matters. The most important thing is 💜~ 🙏🏽🌸✨~ #yogalifestyle #yogainspiration #healingjourney #pain #control #yoga #yogalove #yogalover #yogagirl #healing #grief #sad #hypersensitivity #sensitivity #anxiety

Heavy on my mind

There are days it’s difficult to find the motivation from within. This week I have those kind of days and I am not feeling well, physically and mentally. However, yesterday I went to my hatha class, knowing it’s my way to recovery. Of course I joined the hatha class even though my mind and breathing didn’t collaborate with me😉. I did the postures, all of them and sometimes of course more than I should have. What is a yoga class for me without pushing myself again. Right? Like always I am happy to join the class. I am even thinking that hatha suits me better than vinyasa. So, even though my mind still feels dark and heavy, yoga is still on my mind. 🧘‍♀️ 💚~ #yoga #recovery #yogalife #yogalifestyle #baddays #yogagirl #yogajourney